WHERE HATE NEVER HAS A HOLIDAY
AFTER A WHILE YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE THE SMELL!
if you're interested, here's a brief
bit of background on the band members, which may contain the occasional untruth or exaggeration if any of the band have personal grudges that need airing
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DAN WATERS Dan has recently joined the band after a spell as stand-in following Richard's injury. He is the first Cornish member of the BarraCoodas, and to make him feel at home the band are wearing much more wool than we previously did. Dan is the former bass player of the well-known funk/disco band Full Tilt Boogie, and is currently trying hard to forget the skill and professionalism he acquired with them. Apparently he has added to the band's 'eye candy' appeal, which wasn't all that hard really. As Dan is the new boy, his blog hasn't got too many insults, but as he settles in this will probably change! Although he has settled in well on a plying basis, he still doesn't fart enough, and is way too healthy and slim at the moment, but that will probably change. Contrary to appearances Dan is now the youngest member of the band. |
Lead vocals, moaning and rhythm guitar.
Shaun is one of the two original members left, and is a brave little soldier. He is currently desperately trying to maintain his rapidly fading good looks, but failing miserably. Shaun is blessed with a great voice (he claims) and raging hypochondria, he has a guitar style which has been compared to Jimi Hendrix (unfavourably),although he's probably slightly better than Jimi now. He usually plays a very rare limited edition Gibson Les Dawson. He bought the Bert Weedon 'Play In A Day' book, and it took him 10 years. He idolises Elvis Presley and his ambition is to die on the toilet in a big nappy. Recently Shaun was delighted to be awarded third place in the Keyham Elvis impersonator awards. He never tires of hearing how wonderful he is, so when you see us please take the opportunity to massage his fragile ego and he will be your friend for life. Although Shaun brings a whole new meaning to the word vanity, he would like to make it clear that while he does take a great deal of time and care over his appearance he has never dyed his hair, or worn or owned a lilac and lemon shell suit, and anyone who says he has is a lying four-eyed git who's asking for a slap after the gig in the van on the way home. While Shaun has taken great efforts to keep it quiet, many people have found out somehow that he does, in fact, do a lot for charity.
Drums and swearing vocals
Barry Chuckle look-alike Tony is the most flatulent man on the planet, and is personally responsible for 90% of the hole in the ozone layer. He is Elvis' marginally more talented, shorter brother, and is rumoured to have bought a drink in 2000. Prior to him joining the band were considering buying a drum machine, but recruited Tony instead, as he was cheaper, the only drawback being he has to have the information punched into him every week, instead of just once. Tony, though not the tallest of men, is a little pocket hercules, and works out regularly, in fact only last week he worked out how to count past four. He has a unique style which has been described as sounding like a gang of blindfolded monkeys building a shed, and is undoubtedly Plymouth's top cross-dressing drummer in the under 5ft 6in category. He is the owner of the world's only platform bass drum pedal, and gives the band a dynamic, aggressive sound combining power and precision, which only rarely becomes shambolic, with a slightly disturbing character that nervous people should probably avoid. Tony may be familiar to some of you from his many roles in films such as The Time Bandits, Willow, The Borrowers, Small Soldiers, Napoleon, Get Shorty, and of course the TV series Fantasy Island where he became famous for his hilarious catchphrase 'Master, the plane!'.
Lead guitar and vocals
One page is not really enough space to list all the wonderful things about Shaun, so here's a brief, but inadequate attempt to give you an idea of just how fantastic he truly is. Shaun is the oldest member of the band, despite appearances to the contrary. He was the first man to split the atom, discovered the cure for smallpox, invented the internal combustion engine, and has recently learned to walk on water, in fact you could say he is a Leonardo Da Vinci for the 21st century, but without the beard. He is a handsome, intelligent, witty, fantastically gifted guitarist, whose only faults are a failure to realise the magnitude of his own talent and a reluctance to boast about his fantastic sexual performance. Despite being the most wonderful of God's creations, he still has time for all the little people like you, who make it all worthwhile. The rest of the band think he's a big-headed specky twat know-all who thinks he's god's gift, but they're probably just envious of his undoubted talent and status as the star of the band, in my opinion. Contrary to what some would have you believe Shaun's ego is not out of control, in fact he is a shy, retiring type, and definitely not one to blow his own trumpet. Shaun was very proud to recently be voted Devon's top left-handed guitar player with glasses in a little-known and entirely fictional competititon. In
(All information written and supplied by Shaun Kelly, while strenuous efforts are made to verify the authenticity of all information, it may just be a pack of lies invented by a jealous, bitter, failed guitarist with no friends)
